Our First Meeting

I think back fondly of our first meeting. I felt like a kid going to Disney Land. The emotions that were rolling through my body were powerful and overwhelming. We were to meet in the downtown core of our city for a cup of coffee. That was really what we sold this to each other as. A simple cup of coffee. Harmless.

I arrived. It was a wonderfully hot fall day. The trees were changing colours and the leaves were beginning to fall. As I parked my car I noticed a flower vendor selling sunflowers. They were big and gorgeous. I must have started for the flower cart four or five times before I committed to buying flowers for Nancy. I was nervous. Very nervous. What if this WAS just coffee for her. I would look pretty stupid giving her sunflowers!!! I took the chance. What did I have to lose? I had been rejected so many times over the past few years...what was one more time?

I actually put the flowers in the back seat and sort of covered them. They were given later as we were going our seperate ways. AND. they were accepted :-)

It ended up being so hot that day that we opted for one of those cold caffeinated beverages. We walked to a local, obscure park and took a seat under a huge tree. It was nice. We were both tremendously nervous and mostly made small talk, but all I could help thinking was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.... I knew from this moment that I had to pursue this woman with all my energy, with all my heart, and all my love. I had to have her. That for sure was unquestionable. I had known her for a year on an emotional level, this was our second time meeting (our first time with 'intentions'). Our first time was more of a social setting...with no intentions (on her part yet) ;-). I had fallen in love with Nancy before even seeing her. I had never seen so much as a photo of this woman, yet I knew I adored her. I loved her.

On our way back to the downtown core, we sped along a major waterway with the sunroof open smoking cigarettes, both basking in the afternoon sunlight, and one another's presence.

I will never ever forget that day. The little things. Like the parking ticket I got with 'her'. I still have it! I know, I know, you may find that sappy, but when you have gone for so long without...it really is the little things that matter most.

-dave

Mon Jan 26, 2004 5:15 am MST by jimithing | Email Article |

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Hello Nancy~ I've come to realize that many of us become dishearted after years of trying. Myself, I have a theory, that those wives or husbands that go into a marriage, you know the ones, they go into it with a mindset, that they will do whatever it takes, to not become a statistic. We are the ones that feel shallow when we lose the battle! We are the ones that mourn defeat! We give 100% from the very beginning, and our partners never match our attempts, as soon as we slack, the marriage falls apart. I have done all I could do, my husband will tell anyone that I was and actually still am a good wife. I'm just not happy, and he knows that.. too! My zest to give my all is gone, I have even tried to get it back. I have caught myself asking why I can not fake pure happiness anymore. I have faked it for years, why not now!??? I was smoking a cigarette one evening at a High School football game off the beaten path, of course, and away from everyone. When an old H.S. flame came up to me and said, "When are you gonna give those up?" I looked at him and said, "I dunno, when i am happier?" He said, "You are the happiest person I ever met, you have a smile on your face always!" And I broke down and cried! He hugged me...it was pathetic, I was no longer able to joke it off. I can not even watch a good comedian at a Comedy Club, without being offended by the jokes of women not pleasing there husbands, the poor men never getting sex as often as they should! yadda yadda! Anyway my point is...so often, a person can walk away from a marriage, but for those of us who placed heart and soul into it...we are crushed! Ramblings..lol Alura

Mon Jan 26, 2004 3:26 pm MST by Alura

Hi Alura! Sister...... we gotta talk! I've been to your 'journal page' .. omg.. our lives are similar. The emotional roller-coaster rides.. the incessant loneliness.. and yes, those blasted tears.. omg, i've cried oceans. 'Makes for a lovely face in the morning, huh? *hehe* I'm almost 40.. and finding that life is just not giving me all that i need. I love my kids.. they rock. But that woman in me just wasn't satiated anymore. I was lonely and CRAVING!! some 'love and attention'. Pfff.. plain and simple - call a spade a spade. I've been thinking alot about how society regards 'failed marriages' and what it accepts as appropriate factors for 'divorce'. You know what i've noticed ? It is much more acceptable for a 'middle aged' couple - let's say one that has been married for .. o... maybe a good 30 or 40 years, to divorce. Why? Because they are seen as an entity that has 'tried to make it work over so many years' .... whatever. The way i see it, regardless of how old you are.. if two people have really reached a point where love is no longer part of their relationship.. why continue?? Is it better to live under pretence? Do you have to just 'suck it up'? I don't think so... and besides, why should i??! I have every right to fill that void, in my life. And so do you. Dave found me, when i needed to be found. He gives me so much. He is sexy (i'll have to share some of his 'words'.. real soon).. he is thoughtful. I never imagined giving myself to another man.. and i was completely shocked, as to how easy and natural it was, when i finally did. Making love - how i missed it. There are no boundaries either with us.. we feel free to try anything (omg!! *hehe*). Our time together is so precious and important to us. I feel such a connection to you and your situation. If your husband has made it clear that he wants 'extra' from his marriage .. why shouldn't you find that for yourself. Find that unbelievable woman inside you.. let her out.... and let someone share it with you. My Affaire .. i go there with great trepidation sometimes, but i need what i have found. I love what i have found.. I love my Dave. Well...... as the real world has it.. preschool this aft !! *woohooo!* .. time to meet my Lover for coffee ;) All my best..... talk soon. Nancy

Mon Jan 26, 2004 9:20 am MST by Nancy

It all sounds so calming. Your day...would parallel any number of dreams I have had. You have found a gentle release. If that makes any sense at all. I don't find you sappy, just comfortable, relaxing, and lovely. I noticed in another post you mentioned the merry-go-round. I have also compared my life to a merry-go-round, but in a different way. I feel like I have been riding the lion, and thinking it was ao wonderful, but, I just looked around, and all the other people are riding horses, and they go up and down! Pfft! I suppose the lion is okay for some, nessesary even...but, I would like to ride a horse at least once, certainly there is a thrill and a great memory to cherish, in riding the horsey...lol Enjoy your ride guys... Btw..if the two of you are going to write what you feel, exchange words to one another here in text, you must try very hard, very hard to realize, that text, lacks tone. I know you might read something your lover writes, and think~hmmm, a personnal attack?? But, I doubt either of you are attempting to harm the other here. So look carefully at the words, they are most likey all written will love intended. Hugzz~ Alura

Mon Jan 26, 2004 7:18 am MST by Alura

Our First Meeting

Our First Meeting

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