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Anonymous, Oh I hear you. I hear exactly what you are saying. I'll let you in on what my wife thought when I broached the subject. We were laying in bed one night discussing 'things'. I had come to a point where I just said 'I have had enough, I am not happy but I am not ready to leave, how do you feel about an open marriage?' I felt badly dumping on her like that...but nothing else was getting through. She had considered it many times. More for me than her because she assures me it is not me that isn't doing it for her sexually. Whatever. The conversation kind of left hanging that it may be a possibility. When I read her journal though (with her permission) I could tell that it hurt her. Obvious questions like what is wrong with me that I don't want this? Why am I not capable of pleasing my husband? etc... I think we are going to see a drastic shift in society accepting open marriages in the future. I am by no means an expert, but with a gradual decline of the Church (Which I BLAME for instilling unachievable marital expectations - the statistics do not lie), explosive growth of online chat rooms, access to the Internet and computers, people will see there are others who are like them. People will have access to others who are like them. I ask Nancy all the time....how much sadness is there in marriages today? I walk around a little differntly these days. I think it is because of the low point I was at...and now such a high point in my life...in such a short period of time. I watch people carefully. Couples. Women. Wifes. Husbands. I look for that sadness that I would see everday when I??awoke and looked in the mirror. And you know what? I see it alot. There has to be a better solution than simply divorce or infidelity. I wish I had the answers. I'll tell you this though. It is something (open marriage) that I am going??to be working toward at least in the short term. The dynamic of that kind of relationship I think really could work. Thanks for your thought provoking comments :-) -dave

...you asked a question, and I do not have the answers, but, on the thought of an open marriage I wanted to say: What I don't understand at all is the feelings that cause one to feel they have to kill a relationship~ just because of feelings the other person might have that have nothing to do with the feelings they have toward you. In other words...you both have a stake, a reason to try to keep a homelife, children, ect. Leaving would most certainly change everyones quality of life, at this time! So, WHY must a relationship be destroyed simply because the other doesn't want to be exclusive? That is something I don't really "get" about marriage! The only thing I keep getting is "because that is how it is supposed to be". Says who? This is why, in this day an age, "OPEN MARRIAGE" seems almost nessesary! I don't have the answers. I love my husband.. together we have a vast history, I am just no longer satisfied, and feel a need to find more. something to fill a vast hole that is now consuming me! Maybe you feel the same!???

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